Dinner party
By Olga						Accueil   Home

"Will you walk into my parlour?"
Mason and Julia were dressing for a dinner party.
"Why in the wide world is your father gathering all these people?" asked Julia. "Kirk Cranston, Robert Barr, Cruz Castillo, Peter Flint, Keith Timmons… Is it an attempt to discover the fittest?"
"No- rather to replay the Leipzig folksbattle."
"Fine! And what empire is expected as first?"
" I suppose, Japan - in the magnificent personality of Kirk" came the ready answer.
"I am not sure that Japan took part in that battle"- Julia was evidently non-plussed.
"We are doing it on a larger scale" reassuringly smiled Mason.
Mason and Julia entered the sitting-room. Among those already present were:
1) Kirk, busily calculating how much dynamite it would take to convert the Capwell mansion into a model of early Celtic pyramides,
2) Barr, mentally sizing up the emerald ornament of the fireplace,
 3) Castillo, trying to figure out the number of handcuffs necessary for the hold-up of this merrry company.
"I gathered you here to inform you" began CC...
"That Eden made up her mind to return to me" cut in Castillo with the implacability of a unicorn confronted with the theory of the impossibility of his existence.
Kirk reached for his revolver evidently about to confirm his reputation of the man who first shoots - and then asks questions.
Cruz immediately cocked his with the professional gesture of a superman-one who survived a 5 years "modern Zorro or Brave new world" course in Police Academy and sometimes actually managed to hit the target.
Robert put himself between them, mentally cursing the Dobsons for the allotted him portion of noble- mindedness.
"Sorry for interrupting you, gentlemen, but…" he began.
"Someone stole my diamond!" exclaimed CC who was evidently bent on being the sole director of the show.
"Now your shares will slide down" stated Barr joyfully. "Tomorrow Capwell Enterprises will be mine".
"I will kill you!" CC succumbed to the example set by Castillo and Cranston and produced a revolver.
Robert, having found himself facing 3 weapons, felt the thrill of a gladiator in front of a troop of valiant USA marines.
"I am gratly flattered by your atention, gentlemen, but it seems to me I hardly deserve to be the lion of this party." Here he was interrupted. Brandon shot into the room and breathlessly announced: "The keys of your safe are gone!"
"Never mind" smiled Barr. "I will open your safe with the carefree adroitness of legal blindness"
"I will enlighten you" sprang up Cruz.
"I will kill you" repeated CC with the iron determination of an atomic reactor.
"CC, as far as I know there are no DIY manuals on safe - breaking on sale yet. You need me" tried to reason with the new Terminator Barr.
"You may shoot" announced Quinn suddenly entering the room. "May I introduce myself? Robert Barr 2. No Eden-related problems. Improved compatibility with the Capwells in toto."
"I am the only Robert Barr" protested Robert. "All falsifications are prosecuted. The law..."
"The law- c’est moi." informed everyone Keith Timmons triumphantly entering the parlour.
"The also-ran list is now complete" summed up Mason.

"Is it a tea-party?- asked Alice"

"Can you open safes?" asked CC warily.

"Safes!" Flame,who appeаred at that moment, was openly derisive. "Why, he opens cans only after a long preliminary consultation with the instruction and never with less than 2 microscopes."

"I am pretty handy with cars and dogless flats" Quinn explained shyly.

"Everything you say can be..." quoted Cruz with relish.

"Shut up!" exploded Robert who had a certain dislike for Mirandas law- or, rather, the actions that usually followed a quotation from it. Hearing it once more from Castillo- and addressed to his own copy- that was a bit too much even for Barr!

 By this time CC was as restless as Cameron asked to take place on the side-lines of "Avatar".

"If you dont open my safe this instant I will murder you" he announced with the spontaneity of McBeth on the 400th night.

"Your remarks are rather monotonous." Robert was not much interested." Is it a form of Narcissism?"

 Then he added thoughtfully "And if I do?"

"Then Cranston or Castillo will see to the business"  answered CC with the zest of a Montony.

"Somebody, please, set me right" pleaded Keith. "What is it being rehearsed here anyway ? Carrols tea-party or an episode from "The Godfather"?

"This crazy, crazy, crazу world" sang Eden appearing in the doorway. Tonnell stood behind.

"No. A remake of "Cape Fear" he declared, viewing the guests with the air of a Monte Cristo after a comprehensive study of Perellis art.

"We are setting off for El-Diabolo - immediately" he informed everyone.

"For Come -in- you- will- enjoy -the -show" stuff it does not sound very convincing" sighed Mason.

"Eden, I love you" announced Kirk and Cruz simultaneously. Robert- who preferred solos- kept his counsel.

"Castillo, have you made any post-mortem arrangements?" enquired Kirk producing a second revolver.

"Yes, dont you worry- your funeral will be most  becoming" calmed him Castillo.

Robert, noticing a perceptible improval of his situation remarked: "A duel? How about practising on broomsticks?"

"You will be the next" informed him Kirk.

"I am afraid I must tell you that the authorities of California disapprove of homicide- highly" recollected his vocation Keith, but the sight of 4 revolvers momentarily targeting him was enough to cause a severe relapse.

"Robert, how about doing something?" enquired Eden with the air of a mermaid asking a passing by fisherman for a filial of General Motors.

Robert glanced at Cruz and Kirk but at that moment they all heard the whistle of a train.

Tonell pulled out a revolver and aimed it at Barr. Generally it never failed to produce an impression on the latter- a glance at a middle- sized weapon was enough to inxpire Bobby with due respect for dialogue. But now his face was as blank as that of a cowbow stuck in the middle of a kindergarteh fete.

"Where is my statuette ?" asked the slightly taken aback Tonnell.

"What statuette?"

"Ondine" explained Eden impatiently and approaching Cruz and Kirk clapped her hands.

"Disarmament!" repeated she the call of the League of Nations. The result was pretty much the same as in 1939.

"Boys, give over fighting" added she in the tone of a Texas sherif confronting a crowd of citizens after a new tobacco-tax.

Cruz silently removed his pistols but Kirk -who was always a bit demonstrative- threw his on the table. The shot that followed was met by everyone in various ways.

Mason cited : "If you can keep your head when all about you are losing theirs..."

"Shut up" evaluated his declamation and levelheadedness Julia.

Quinn made for the door where he was intercepted by Flame. Robert sized up the distance between him and Tonell and decided to remain a pacifist and Keith flitted through a pocket edition of "Law in America".

"What does it mean?" concluded the chain of reaction Castillos question. "I want to know what is going on here!"

"A modest wish" commеnted Mason.