Dumbest storylines : a bounced check at the sperm bank

 Soap Opera Digest, 1986

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It wasn't the fact that Santa Barbara used a mythical country called New Stailand that we found ludicrous but rather what went on there.

When Jack Stanfield Lee (Joel Crothers) refused to get involved in a plot to take over that island country, his devious cousin Jerry Cooper was happy to oblige. He locked Jack up, then had plastic surgery to make himself the spitting image of his cuz. Meanwhile Jerry oversaw the impregnation of Santa Barbara resident Amy Perkins (Kerry Sherman) with the sperm of the now dead prince of New Stailand, which had been stared in a sperm bank there. The baby was eventually brought to New Stailand, where Jerry planned to kill the king and become ruler until the baby matured.

His plan hit a snag when a suspicious Amy and her fiancÚ Brick (Richard Eden) followed "Jack" to New Stailand, found the real Jack locked up and Amy's baby in the royal crib. Amy and Brick were asked to stay and let the baby inherit his true birthright. Amy chose to return to Santa Barbara to marry Brick. This turn of events was not as dumb as the entire story since Brick has turned out to be both a Capwell and a Lockridge and stands to inherit a sizeable fortune.